This morning I finally wrote in the last page of my journal that I was telling you about a few weeks ago. The very first time I wrote in that journal was on my birthday - July 1, 2005. Almost give years have passed since then. I realize 5 years is a long time to be writing in a journal, but you have to know that I have several different ones. And this one was more to write about different things that I have gone through. Without getting too personal, I went through a break up of a 7 year relationship, prayed for healing for a friend, went through another break up of a 2 year relationship, prayed through my journeys in Nashville, and then a year of prayers trying to figure out if God was leading me here to Dallas. That sounds kind of dramatic and a lot of breaking up, but it really wasn't =)
But seriously, this is one of the reasons I love to journal. Because for some reason, when we look BACK on what we have been through and the things God has done in our lives, it is so much easier to understand why we went through those times in the wilderness or the happiest times in our lives. When we look BACK, it seems to all fit together. Not only that, but we realize how much God is in control and how we can trust him 100% with our lives and hearts.
When I began this journal, I wrote down this quote:
"My child, Linnae, I love you before you were born. I knit you in your mother's womb and knew what your first and last words would be. I knew every difficulty you, Linnae, would face. I suffered each one with you. Even the ones you didn't suffer with me. I had a plan for your life before you were born. The plan has not changed, Linnae, no matter what has happened to you or what you have done. You see, I already kenw all things concerning you before I formed you. I would never allow any hurt to come into your life that I could not use for eternity, Linnae. Will you let me? Your truth is incomplete unless you view it against the backdrop of my Truth. Your story, Linnae, will forever remain half-finished... until you let Me do My half with your heart. Let me perfect that which concerns you."
God is working far beyond what we can see right now or even imagine. We have to be obedient and we have to trust Him. He is good. He's not safe... but He is kind. And He's good!